MY FRIEND ROB

My best friend Rob MacLennan died last September from complications of Parkinson's and dementia. I have been reluctant to write about it since then. Maybe I somehow think if I don't write about it, he really didn't pass on. His wife is in Scotland this week and will be spreading some of his ashes there. Last fall one of his friends spread some of his ashes in the White Mountains where he used to love to hike in the fall. And this summer his wife is going to spread the rest of his ashes in their favorite beachside town in Maine.

Rob was my best friend. I knew him longer than anyone in his family except for his brother. When I joined IBM on January 26, 1970, Rob was the first one to welcome me. I can still see his smiling face and his hand reaching out for mine. We hit it off right away. Rob lived in the Back Bay as Kathy and I did. The IBM office was in Copley Square and we used to walk to work. We didn't own cars until a few years later. We used to go to the Y after work and we would also run on the Esplanade. And we all used to get together for cookouts on the Esplanade. I had a hibachi and we would carry it over Storrow Drive to a beautiful point overlooking the Charles, and watch the sun set.

Times were simpler then. The original Hawaii 5.0 with Jack Lord was on in the middle of the week. Rob had a color tv so I would pick up a bag of Wise potato chips and a quart of Pepsi and walk over to his apartment. From that time on we always called each other Robo and Frano!

In 1974 my job moved to Waltham and then in 1978 we moved to Danbury Ct. We would talk on the phone and when we visited Kathy's mother in Topsfield, I would try to drop in and see Rob, who lived a few miles away. And of course, we always called ourselves Robo and Frano!

We retired to Newburyport in 2008 and Rob and Fran had moved here a few years before. We used to joke that we were going to grow old together. Shortly after Rob was diagnosed with Parkinsons and he gradually declined. He also had dementia. He couldn't drive anymore so I had the privilege of driving my best friend all around town a couple of times a week. We went to therapy, did errands, went out to lunch and breakfast, went for walks,  got haircuts and drove around and looked at the new houses being built and all the renovations being done.  These were some of the happiest times of my life. We talked about the old days, and wondered where the people we worked with in Boston were. And when you get to our age, you also learn where all the public restrooms are! Rob loved the lobster rolls at Bob and the breakfasts at Nancy's Marshside  and the Agawam Diner. I can still see Rob eating French toast at Nancy's with apple crisp and whipped cream piles on top. And he ate it all!

And during all these rides, Rob never complained, not once. One time he did say he was tired of being sick, but that was it. And this was after he was diagnosed with melanoma and had to have surgery on his groin area. And on top of all this he fell at the Y and broke his hip. He was determined to exercise several days a week. I found a miniature pair of ice skates in a store in Newburyport and gave them to Rob. And I said to Rob, " you have had some tough breaks. But we are going to keep fighting until hell freezes over, and when it does, we are going to get the skates out and keep fighting."
Rob kept these skates on the bathroom sink and looked at them every day. And he certainly did fight the good fight.

After Rob left IBM he became the facility manager at the beautiful Trinity Church in Copley Square in Boston. Not only was Spaceship Earth a better place because Rob was here, the town of Topsfield was a better place because of the all the committees Rob was on and the Trinity Church was a better place because of his efforts there. His memorial service was held at the Trinity Church in November. I was honored to be one of the two eulogists. Its pretty tough to compress someone's life into 5 minutes. A lot of what I wrote here is what I said.

I closed with the Roman poet Catullus's poem to his dead brother. And to my best friend Rob, frater, ave atque vale!

TURNING OVER THE GARDEN

Last week I tilled the vegetable garden. Every fall, right after Thanksgiving, I spread the bale of hay that we used for the fall decorations-pumpkin, gourds, and corn stalks, on top of the vegetable garden and let the hay rest for the winter. Then in the spring I take the hay off, after the snow melts and it dries up, and keep it on the side and will use it for mulch during the season.
    As I till the garden, and sometimes I use a Mantis Tiller and sometimes I do it by hand with a shovel, I think about how I am doing the same thing as my father did every spring, my grandfather and my great grandfather. And the Native Americans, the Incas, the Maya's, the Aztecs and so many other civilizations throughout history. I can't help but feel that connection. And have you ever smelled fresh, tilled soil? It has a distinctive aroma. It's like smelling fresh roasted coffee.
And the better the soil, the fresher the smell, especially if you till in all the compost in the fall.
  Early in May I will plant the cool weather crops- lettuce, broccoli, brussel sprouts and the potatoes. Then in mid May, if there is no frost in sight, the tomatoes, beans, and what else I decide on. I like to add some different crops each year. So every April  hope springs eternal and so does the tilling of the garden.

OPENING DAY

Today is the opening of Major League Baseball. The Cardinals play at the Cubs. This is always an exciting day for me. I love to follow baseball and I have a library of several hundred baseball books. And one of the great pleasures in life, for me, is getting up in the morning, and reading the box scores of the previous days games in the Boston Globe, while sipping the morning coffee.

To get in the mood I just watched some scenes on YouTube from the Field of Dreams movie. I watched James Earl Jones great speech about baseball and people will come. And then I watched the scene with Kevin Costner playing catch with his father. Joe Jackson tells him if you build it (the field) he will come. And of course, he meant Kevin's father. What a scene. I got moist eyes watching that. My father has been gone 35 years now. I can't play catch with him anymore. But I do think of him every day. And I carry his last drivers license in my wallet, as I have done since he died. So in a sense he is always with me!

To all the sons and daughters out there, get out there and play catch with your father and if he can't play catch, hug him and kiss him. And if he is not nearby, call him. Talk to him. Don't tweet, text or email. Before you know it, he will be walking out into the cornfield.

SPRING IS COMING!

The sun sets one minute later on December 14
There is one minute more daylight on December 27
The first seed catalogs start arriving in the mail at the end of December
The sun rises one minute earlier on January 9
The annual baseball preview magazines hit the news stands at the end of January
Truck Day for the Red Sox equipment truck leaving for Florida is around February 8
The Kream and Kone in Dennisport Ma opens February 12
The Clam Box in Ipswich opens in February
Pitchers and catchers report around mid February
The Vernal Equinox is March 20
The frost is out of the ground by early April
Grams and Haleys open for the season
Bob Lobster opens for summer hours
The plovers arrive at the Refuge around April 1
Boats and docks start appearing along the river
The lawn is raked and debris bagged
The Landfill opens for the season
The last frost is around mid May
Cool weather crops broccoli, lettuce, peas, radishes, brussel sprouts planted
The first lawn mow in mid April
Opening Day for baseball around April 1- Every team tied for first
Warm weather crops planted around mid May- tomatoes, beans, corn, spuds
The Summer Solstice is June 21 and now Winter is coming. The cycle continues.

THINGS I THINK ABOUT AT 3AM

When you get to my age, you have to get up in the middle of the night to use the facilities. For me it's usually around 3am. Often when I get back to bed I can't get to sleep right away. I don't count sheep but I think about a variety of topics. Here is a sample:

* Why does it take a knife to open a fresh loaf of bread? Are there nuclear secrets in there?
* What the heck is "breaking news"?
* Why do the real estate agents always have their pictures in the ads?
* Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
* When you see those road signs that say "depressed storm drains" should they seek professional help?
* Are those "reduced salt" signs on the side of the road, watching their blood pressure?
* How does a 300 page book get downloaded to your Kindle in 3 seconds?
* If the Weather Channel tells you its 0 degrees outside today, and tomorrow its going to be twice as cold, how cold will
   it be?
* If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
* Why do all those cars in the tv crime shows, show up at the crime scene without a spec of dirt on them?
* Why do some bottles of water have a list of ingredients?
* Why do we have to pick up dog poop, but not horse poop?
* Why would we buy all those drugs advertised on tv, when the disclaimers and side effects are longer than the product
    description?
* When a weather forecast says there is a 50% chance of rain, what does that mean? That its going to rain on one side of
    the street but not the other?
* How come the Post Office has a "postage due" sticker when you mail something without enough postage, but when you
   put too much postage on, there is no "refund due" sticker?

Usually after thinking about all of this, I finally nod off!

50 YEARS AGO THIS THANKSGIVING EVE

Next Wednesday November 26 will be the 50th anniversary of my coming home for the first time from college. One of the most emotional times of my teenage years was the first year I went off to college. I didn't come home for the first time until Thanksgiving and I was pretty lonesome at school and missed my parents, my sisters and my dog Horton. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving I got a ride from Edna Barker and I had her drop me off on Sisson Road in front of the old high school, now the middle school instead of our house on South St, which was a quarter mile away. I guess I wanted to savor the moment!

I walked down the school drive, passed the old high school, recalling all the good times, and when I got to the edge of the field at the east end of our property, by the old pine tree, I whistled for Horton. I had a special whistle I always used to call him. I had told my parents I should be home around 6pm so please have Horton waiting on the back steps and I will call him from the far end of the field.

At first I didn't hear anything, but then I heard the jingle of his dog tags on his collar getting louder and louder. It was dark, and I was squinting towards the west and then I saw him. He saw me too, and started yelping away and must have jumped 3 feet into the air to greet me! He was barking away, running in circles around me, giving me kisses as I bent over to pat him.

I had tears in my eyes and could barely see. All that was missing was Tom Jones singing the Green, Green, Grass of Home, And we did have a big, old oak tree in the back yard too! We ran together to the back door, me carrying my little duffle bag, and went into the kitchen to greet everyone. Little Frannie Larkin was home!

33 YEARS AGO TODAY(NYC MARATHON!)

33 years ago today, a third of a century (yikes!), I ran and completed the New York City Marathon. I had run off and on since the early 70's, but when my father died in November of 1980, I decided to train for a marathon and dedicate the race to Dad. I had run some road races and had a base already built up and I had several books and mags on running. I picked out a training routine to finish the marathon in about 4 hours. I just wanted to finish and not try to set any speed records! And over the course of a year, I followed the training routine and didn't deviate from it very much. I didn't want to get carried away and get injured.

One of my brother in laws and a nephew drove down from Topsfield, Ma. the Saturday before. We lived in Danbury, Ct at the time. I drove down to New York City with a racing buddy  the week before the marathon to get our numbers and race kit. They had them available at the Post Office right next to Madison Square Garden. We got pizza the night before to get those carbo's into the body.

The next morning we got up early and drove down to Staten Island, with our neighbor, who was a great runner and had done the marathon several times. So he gave me a lot of tips, although he would finish well ahead of me. My brother in law and nephew drove back to downtown Manhattan and parked in a garage near the finish line in Central Park and began the long wait!

For the male runners, they had set up the world's largest outdoor urinal. It was a wooden trough that was tilted at a slight angle and had running water going down it. I think it ended up in one of the sewer drains. For the ladies, there was a large row of portable potties. As it got close to the starting time, I walked up to where the first time runners and top lady runners were. On the other side of the bridge, it was the top men. I didn't want to stay at the back of the crowd and take 10 minutes or so to cross the starting line, so I positioned myself near the front of the first time runners, but well back of the top ladies. I certainly did not want to interfere with them.

When the starting cannon went off,  I crossed the starting line in a few seconds. It was finally here. I had trained for over a year and had thought of this moment for months. It was a clear day, temp in the high 40's and the Manhattan skyline was to my left. Fire boats were sending streams of water high into the air and helicopters were circling above. What a sight. And you read about the first mile being the toughest because its uphill on the bridge. I didn't even notice. I was so excited and plus I had trained on a lot of hills. So it wasn't any big deal.

I had on shorts, and a light sweatshirt, with no hood, my famous red winter hat and garden gloves. And in the left glove, I carried my father's last drivers license. I made sure not to go out too fast, despite all the excitement. I wanted to run about 4 hours or maybe a few minutes less. 2 weeks before when we were visiting family in Topsfield, Ma. I had gone for my longest run, 22 miles. I can still remember every mile of that training run, and occasionally drive parts of it, and think back. After that run, I showered, went to Mass, and then we drove back to Danbury. I felt good so I figured I could break 4 hours.

I ran on the left side of all the runners. I did not want to get tripped up by running in the middle of everyone. All the spectators in Brooklyn were high fiving and low fiving all of us and cheering us on. It was fantastic support. I felt great and hit the halfway mark a little less than 2 hours. I purposely was holding back and then wanted to up the tempo for the next several miles. And then as  I was crossing the 59th St bridge, my right knee started hurting. What the heck was this? I had no injuries for the past year and did a conservative marathon build up. I had stretched and was as flexible as I could be. The pain got worse and worse. I tried some stretching and asked someone at an aid station what it might be, but they didn't know.

I ran, walked the rest of the way. I was in a lot of pain, but I had dedicated the race to Dad and was not about to drop out. I finished in 4 hours and 46 minutes, about 46 minutes longer than I had hoped. My brother in law was starting to get worried where I was. I told him I would probably finish in about 4 hours. Then he saw the red hat coming down the last quarter mile. When I got to Central Park South, I said the heck with it. I am going to run the last mile and change without stopping. And I did. The pain didn't get any worse.

My neighbor had finished in about 3 hours and change so they were all waiting for me. But I finished. I did it. And I pulled Dad's license out of my glove, looked down at his picture, smiled and gave him a kiss. This was for you Dad!
We all talked about the race on the ride home. My right knee ached and I took some aspirin when I got home. I remember calling my mother to tell her I did it! The next day it was back to work and I had promised everyone at the regional office in Westport, Ct. that if I finished, I would bring in donuts for everyone. So I stopped and bought 6 dozen donuts for everyone.

I went to a running doctor a few days later, and the cause of the pain was my ilio tibial band (the ITP). That's a muscle that runs from the hip down to the knee and crosses over the outside of the knee. That had tightened up and was rubbing against the bone. That's what was causing the discomfort. I had to rest the knee for several days and then do special stretching exercises for the ITB and I was ok. And for the next 30 years as long as I did the stretching I could run and do races without any problems. I went on to complete a triathlon, a 25 mile bike race and over 100 road races, most of them 5 miles or 10K's. I finished every race and never had to drop out.  I stopped running 6 years ago. I figured there are only so many miles on the tires so why chance it.

So for the last 6 years, I walk, hike, bike, kayak and snowshoe in season. I have not done a century(100 miles) in bike riding so I think I will do that next year. That will complete my own personal trifecta, of completing a marathon, triathlon and a century. So as Paul Harvey said many years ago, "Now you know the rest of the story."