Thursday, December 11, 2014


When you get to my age, you have to get up in the middle of the night to use the facilities. For me it's usually around 3am. Often when I get back to bed I can't get to sleep right away. I don't count sheep but I think about a variety of topics. Here is a sample:

* Why does it take a knife to open a fresh loaf of bread? Are there nuclear secrets in there?
* What the heck is "breaking news"?
* Why do the real estate agents always have their pictures in the ads?
* Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
* When you see those road signs that say "depressed storm drains" should they seek professional help?
* Are those "reduced salt" signs on the side of the road, watching their blood pressure?
* How does a 300 page book get downloaded to your Kindle in 3 seconds?
* If the Weather Channel tells you its 0 degrees outside today, and tomorrow its going to be twice as cold, how cold will
   it be?
* If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
* Why do all those cars in the tv crime shows, show up at the crime scene without a spec of dirt on them?
* Why do some bottles of water have a list of ingredients?
* Why do we have to pick up dog poop, but not horse poop?
* Why would we buy all those drugs advertised on tv, when the disclaimers and side effects are longer than the product
* When a weather forecast says there is a 50% chance of rain, what does that mean? That its going to rain on one side of
    the street but not the other?
* How come the Post Office has a "postage due" sticker when you mail something without enough postage, but when you
   put too much postage on, there is no "refund due" sticker?

Usually after thinking about all of this, I finally nod off!